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My host mother with the family golden retriever Gen-chan |
One may ask themselves, what makes a Japanese citizen different from any other person? Sure the answers history, culture, ethnicity cross the mind, but it seems none of them are completely right. It seems no on can ever truly answer this question, though we all try to find this elusive answer. Maybe the closest someone can come to the answer is by living with a Japanese person. Not just for one day, but through the seasons to feel the ups and downs of life with them. Small things, like the morning routine and work hours give glimpses into a very complex society and peoples. With this, let me introduce the person I have closest to reaching this state with during my month and a half so far of living in Japan.
My host mother, pictured at the right, is a woman who defines the term enigma. Her main title is 'homemaker' though she also works a part-time job two or three days a week. The title 'homemaker' is very accurate. From a Western standpoint it may have the connotation of a few chores, cooking, and gossiping the rest of the day, but my host mother works just as hard and long as any full time employee. Awake before everyone else in the home, she makes and serves breakfast for everyone, somehow knowing within the minute of when each person will sit down at the table and having coffee, toast, and other delicious food ready. Throughout the day she runs errands, helps family members by driving them to the nearby train station, cleans the house, takes care of the family dog ( seen with her in the picture ), and recently has been helping the family's daughter during her last month of pregnancy. What a day. I have offered multiple times to help with chores, for example to wash my breakfast dishes in the morning. In a Western home, after a week the hosts would gladly accept this type of help as a type of thanks for their hospitality, but my host mother after three weeks hesitantly said I could help with dishes ONLY if she was not home at all. This constitutes some of her enigma. While the rest of the family sits and watches television, able to help, she insists on relaxation while she goes about her busy work.
A woman like this is so busy I hardly had a chance to photograph her, so I was eager for the few moments she had time and snapped a few. Her smile is contagious, and at dinner times she is the 'life of the party' if I can use such a casual tone. Though this family has never hosted a student without a high level of Japanese proficiency, her patience with a low level language student, such as myself, is astounding. This patience is not something specifically Japanese, neither are the long work days. It is the way she attends to them with vigor daily which makes her part of a unique culture; one where personal frustrations need not be voiced every day. A sense of great satisfaction at the end of the day outweighs the small desires throughout the day to tell others about life. It is a concept which is difficult to put in words and my apologies for not presenting it as eloquently as it requires.